OutdoorSC.com

Today's column is a mishmash -- kind of like my everyday thought patterns. Usually when I sit down to write my column, I start out with one thought and just roll with it but this week, there are just one too many thoughts in my pea brain to address any one subject.

So here goes nothing.

• I have been keeping my ear to the pipeline concerning one of the coolest fish out there, tarpon, and it seems they are finally starting to show up. For the past couple of years they have stopped just south of us down around St. Catherine's Sound and Ossabaw Sound in Georgia, but I am hearing that fish are being seen and jumped in Port Royal Sound, so maybe they will make it to our neck of the woods this year.

I do know that if you want to make the run, they are piled up at St. Catherine's Sound right now, which is a beautiful place to fish if you have never been there.

• Now this one might seem to be oozing with prejudice but it is not intended as such. If anyone is to blame, it's our state government for not posting regulations in Spanish so that our ever-expanding Hispanic community is aware of the rules and regulations concerning our fisheries.

Increasingly I am witnessing members of the Hispanic community killing undersize and oversize fish, especially redfish and trout. Having spent many a day south of the border, I've learned that's the norm in their countries of origin. For instance, in Mexico overfishing has decimated certain areas. Unless things change, that same thing is going to happen to the countries south of Mexico where the rule of thumb seems to be "If you catch it, kill it."

For the past couple of years, I havewitnessed this mind-set right here. With a fairly good grasp of the Spanish language, I don't think twice about confronting the offenders, explaining to them the laws here, and usually afterward they begin releasing fish that are not within the legal slot range.

Recently I've witnessed another "not quite right" practice going on. It wasn't until the third time I saw it that it started bothering me. Several Hispanics get together and head out on the falling tide. They find a creek that dumps into the main body of water and pull their boat sideways, blocking the entrance. At that point, two people stay with the boat, slapping paddles on the water and scaring the fish back into the rapidly diminishing creek, while the rest divide inside the creek, throwing cast nets and killing every fish, crab and shrimp they catch, regardless of size.

I realize how stretched the Department of Natural Resources is with its personnel and all the cutbacks but this problem has to be addressed -- and soon, before it gets totally out of hand. I am asking for all of you to say something to violators when you see these things. Or better yet, call DNR. I plan to contact DNR in Charleston and offer my graphic services to come up with a campaign to educate the Hispanic community by distributing rules and regulations that are bilingual. I think then there can be no excuse of ignorance and everyone will be on the same page.

• By the time you read this, I will once again (the sixth time in two and a half years) be on the operating table for my back. What delightful procedure do they have planned for me this time? A morphine pump that is bigger than a hockey puck implanted in my scrawny body, with catheters going into my spinal column. I know it sounds gross but already I have nearly 4 pounds of metal, wires, batteries and computers inside my body, so what's another pound or so?

I am starting to feel like Go-Go-Gadget. I figure as long as they are slicing and dicing why not add a few other items? You know, something like a telescoping fishing pole that pops out of my arm, or a GPS unit built right in my head. That would be the cat's meow. No more getting lost.

If you think about it, with all of today's medical advances, the possibilities are endless. Since throwing cast nets is a no-no for me, what I would love to see the surgeon do is to install a cast net that comes out of my wrist, like the web thrower Spiderman has in his. Would I be popular or what!

So I may miss a week or so of writing but I'll be back as soon as my back is back. And if you found this week's ramblings entertaining, just wait until I get that morphine pump a-pumpin'. Lord knows what this mind will think up!